“PAULONOMIA”

On that warm October day, early in the morning, at a time when most of the Mumbaikars start hurrying towards the local stations, as usual, I sauntered towards the front door in half-stupor for picking up the morning news paper. When my lazy eyes scanned for the headlines, something hit me a like a bolt and shook me up into complete wakefulness. ‘Paul the Octopus- Dead !’ was the news that drowned me into a mood of deep melancholy.

Like everybody’s, Paul caught my fancy during the FIFA World Cup. The clinical accuracy with which Paul predicted Germany’s wins initially and later that of Spain’s made this ‘mussel’ eating, tentacled creature into a celebrity. While he lay dead in the ‘Oberhausen’ water tank peacefully, tired of the stupid football predictions, deep pangs of sorrow overwhelmed me. In fact, I nursed a secret desire to have Paul by my side at office, at home and wherever I went. But that was not to be. At office, everybody shared my grief and we all paid our homage marking a couple of minutes of silence while some hardcore fans went to ‘Mahesh Lunch Home’ and ate sea food for lunch in honor of the eight legged wizard.

That night I returned home and the mood was somber. I surfed the news channels giving coverage on ‘Paul –the Oracle’. The visuals of Paul clutching the mussel box with a flag were appearing in an eternal loop with a number of people blabbering their opinions. A swell of moisture in my eyes blurred my vision...

***

A sudden commotion from the kitchen drew my attention. My wife came out rushing and announced “Thank Paul! The maid is coming to work today!” “You mean Paul confirmed it?” I went to the kitchen to cross check and saw Paul Jr, clutching the card ‘Yes’ and swimming around in the small aquarium. I patted the glass fondly and left for getting ready to office.

When I entered the office, I saw all my gang gathered around my table looking very excited. “Hey! What’s going on?” I asked. Sudha turned around and said in a half-shout “Paul has picked up 5 names out of the 11”. “That’s great! So we are on to something this month!” I heaved a sigh of relief. I cleared the gathering and moved closure. ‘Paul’ was evaluating small chits of executive summaries with a few of the tentacles, clutching an occasional chit and tossing a few away. Venu was muttering a couple of Slokas with tearful eyes and I saw Alex making a thankful ‘Cross’. I asked them the reason for such an ecstatic state. “You see boss! Dear Paul has picked up solidly that Infra company deal of mine” said Venu. In the meanwhile Alex collected his composure and said “I am so delighted he picked up my Renewable Energy deal with all his tentacles. I am planning to give him a special treat of ‘handpicked mussels’ tomorrow”. “Congrats buddies!” Just then I saw, Dixit making weird sounds at Paul unmindful of mine or other’s presence. It looked intriguing and I asked the others “wassup?” Rahul came near and said conspiratorially “Since yesterday, he has been trying to coax and cajole Paul into picking up that chit of his. But unfortunately Paul has not been showing any interest. He is getting frustrated but not giving up” I pitied him, pondered over for a while and asked him to get a copy of that chit. Rahul brought the chit and I read the content. I thought for a while, went out, made a call and had a convincing talk with the person at the other end. I came back to the room, scribbled something on the chit and asked Vivek to put it in the Paul’s aquarium. Paul rolled his eyes philosophically, touched the chit tentatively, cocked its head a little, closed its eyes for a second and suddenly swooped down on the chit and hugged it tightly with his all encompassing arms and winked at me appreciatively. A sudden burst of excitement from the onlookers shook the room. Vivek violently moved his body endangering the longevity of the office chair he was sitting on and shouted “it’s done, it’s done!!”

Girish gathered his wits and asked me “Boss what’s the magic you did?” I took him aside and told him “Nothing great and definitely no magic. The chit proposed a receivable finance and cash-flow escrow. But you know it doesn’t work that way. I talked to the promoter, explained the difficulty and convinced him to get us pari-passu charge on assets. I just added it there on the chit and lo! Paul was excited!” I wanted Paul to be left undisturbed for some time and asked the gang to disburse. Paul waved his arms thankfully and started eating a few mussels for the mid-morning snack.

I must say, ever since Paul arrived on to my table aquarium, things have brightened up and life has become much easier. Decision making became a lot simpler and disappointments a lot lesser. As a community we are greatly indebted to Paul and it may not be untruth, if we say, a few of us secretly believe him to be the ‘Ekadasha avatar’ of Lord Vishnu.

Interrupting my thoughts, Praharsh, chan and venu filed into my room. I looked at them quizzingly. “Boss! Have you forgotten? We scheduled a rendezvous with Paul for you know, finalizing that list of ‘troubled stuff’. “Oh! Come in. Let’s start” I said and turned to Paul “Sorry for troubling you again dear! We are anxious to know which of these three chits could be a cause for worry. Pl pick up the tough nut” I appealed to Paul with all due respect and put the chits in the tank. Paul looked at them for a minute, played with them for a while, dropped them and moved aside and started eating another lot of mussels. “Great heavens! All are safe. Thank you very much Paul” we all congratulated one another and called for a hot cup of coffee. I suddenly remembered that Vijay, the analyst, wanted to come to our office in the evening. I told them about this and asked whether they had any idea of why he wanted to visit us. They gave a smile and Venu said “he is getting about a dozen chits and wants to consult Paul as to ascertain which one finds favor internally and which one doesn’t. You know it saves lot of trouble and time. He is also getting a pound of Sea-food as the usual fees and service tax”. So is he also a ‘Paulonomic’? Good. Let the tribe grow!” I felt happy.

The monotonous ring of my cell phone woke me up rather abruptly from my sleep. I found myself perilously perched on the edge of the couch in the drawing room. My wife was going about seriously doing some kitchen work. “What happened to the maid” I asked in a confused tone. “No. she did not come today”. She sounded disillusioned. “But Paul confirmed you said” I asked worriedly. “What Paul? Which Paul? Are you alright? This is what happens when you sleep at odd times” she dismissed the whole issue. So was it all a sweet dream of ‘Paulnomia’? Suddenly the world looked so difficult and hard to deal with. The Paul news was still going on in the TV showing clips of the dear creature moving in the water tank. I felt Paul winking at me wickedly.

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