To Swine Flu With Love

(9th November, 2009. 539 words)

SWINE Fluu.. fluuu…. .Nothing, not even Ramgopal Verma’s ‘Bhoot’, could have sent more shivers down the spine than this most dreaded word. Time plays this game of irony too often. “Don’t mess up the place you dirty swine” and “I know you are a gutter swine” are the words said too often world over with contempt and disdain. Now for sure, people take this word with such fear probably matched only by the famous Harry Potterian usage “You Know who” reference to the Dark Lord- Voldemort.

This particular ‘Syndrome’ completely changed our world- the way we think, the way we act and the way we relate to one another. It affected our day today life far more drastically than anything that happened till now. While the rising tally of deaths due to the infection across the geographies and demographic profiles made us sombre, it became a great social leveller.

It started of with the ubiquitous ‘mask’- a small piece of green or yellow cloth covering the nose and mouth- the ‘key components’ defining the beauty of a person. When these are safely covered, I don’t think one would be able to distinguish Katrina Kaif from any other lesser mortal standing in the vicinity. The ‘Page 3’ personality doesn’t look any different from a housewife. I was beginning to believe that this great stuff is ushering in the ‘Egalitarian Society’ that would make even Karl Marx smile contentedly in his grave. But Indians are Indians… and are incorrigibly innovative in protecting their identities. I read about people painting their masks with innovative art, decking them with beads and crystals, using imported fabrics known for their ‘fine fall’…chiffons, viols, silks…then functionality?....damn it.

One of those frenzied days, I stepped into the office and encountered a sea of masks. Everyone looked like strangers. “Are these really my people?” I exclaimed to myself. I needed to discuss the expected disbursements for the month with my RMs. I called out all the names and asked them to see me in my cabin and went in. At the sound of people entering, I looked up and found a set of people standing with white, green and yellow masks. I quickly scanned the length and breadth of each of them and roughly made up my mind as to their identity. Guys! ‘What’s the status on disbursements? Boss and his assistant have been calling me up with monotonous regularity. Need to get back”. Each one started mumbling something incomprehensibly punctuated by occasional cough and a couple of sneezes. “This is not going anywhere” I shouted and waved them off. “Oh! My God! Where is my N-69?” I fished out my mask from the desk and donned it with a sigh.

Hey! Common! This is going to be very interesting. With the mask on, the wife can not shout at the husband; the parents can not discipline the kids; the teacher can not ask any questions; the students need not give any replies. The traffic cop can not blow the whistle at the signal jumper; the bosses can not discuss budgets; the employees can not raise any demands. Just think of what happens in a Legislature? …it’s going too far………
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